fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
