You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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