you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
