well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
