I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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