i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize