last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
