too bad you live with your parents still
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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