You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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