This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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