belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
