I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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