Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
