Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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