Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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