Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
