Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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