I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
