i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
