I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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