thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
