We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
This gyro tastes like lonliness
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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