Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
