Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm jealous of your bromance
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
