she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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