I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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