All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
