I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
