wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
