i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
