im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
