I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
home. puking in laundry basket.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Randomize