I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
