your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
