Having a random hookup so left but love u
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
