I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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