I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
