Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Randomize
