So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
