I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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