i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize