tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
