I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
