oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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