Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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