Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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