the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
