R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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