Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
This house was built for laser tag.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
