I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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