We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize