yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
