I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My breasts were aching with rage.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
