i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
