you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
i think my cat just said my name.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
