thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
