Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
