forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
