I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
