After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
