hell yes lets make some ravioli
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
